Joe's Page
(Where Reality is just a State of Mind - Caused by Lack of Alcohol!)
This what you can find here:
Biographical Information - Yep, it's more about ME! (This ego thing is getting bigger!)
Personal Interests - What I do when I'm not looking out of the window (at work!)
Useless Information - Several snippets which are just that - useless!
Lousy/Obscene/Crap Joke of the Month - Hmmm!
The BIG Project - Read on to find out more…
Contact Info. - Just what it says
(If you get fed up here, use your Browser "Back" button to get out!)
Biographical Information
There are a few other things in life that I like, e.g., Steam engines, LEGO, The Clangers, etc., but I'll fill in info on these later (I do like something else, but we don't want to talk about that now - Children could be viewing!).
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Useless Information
Did you know…
…that if a male whelk (shellfish) was the size of a human, its "sexual apparatus" would be approximately 8 feet long! (Fortunately for us male humans, its chat up lines would be useless - just as well, really!)
…that cats only land on their feet if they're sober! (Ask Tilly - She drinks Boddingtons!)
I'm hoping to expand this section, so if you have any contributions, email them to me here 
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Lousy/Obscene/Crap Jokes & Observations on Life
All items in this section are credited to Ross Spiers & Iain Black, a.k.a. The Angus Council Roads Dept.-Traffic Signals Section (So blame them, not me!)
Civil Engineering Joke:
A man walks into a bar, screams and clutches his head. A Health & Safety Exec. Man appears from nowhere and says, "You should have been wearing a hard-hat!" (Okay - these things don't always work in translation.)
A little something to make you smile (With apologies to the Holy Bible!)
1. In the beginning all was but darkness and the Plan was formed. 2. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. 4. And the Plan was without Substance. 5 And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. 6. And they spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks." 7. And lo, the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung and we cannot live with the smell." 8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." 9. And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertiliser, and none may abide its strength." 10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." 11. And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful." 12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company with very powerful effects." 13. And the President did look upon the Plan and he did see that it was good. 14. And it was thus, that the Plan became Policy. 15. And this is how shit happens.
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The BIG Project!
Early last year I set about raising cash to buy some new stage lanterns for the local theatre groups (Yeah, I'm a theatre techie, I admit it!), to save us from blowing a large chunk of our show budget on hiring + collection + return. It started off as trying to find £1200 to buy some second hand units and ended up as £6250. This included starting funds of £350 from each of the local theatre groups, £300 from the Round Table (Thanks lads!), £500 from the Angus Council, and a WHOPPING GREAT £4493 from the Awards for All organisation (For those who don't know, this is a joint effort between the Scottish Arts Council, The Scottish Sports Council & the National Lottery and is specifically aimed at small grants up to £5000).
